10 Life Lessons from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
10 Life Lessons Buffy the Vampire Slayer taught me.
Friendship
When Buffy first moved to Sunnydale, she didn’t know anybody and on her first day at Sunnydale High School, the most popular girl in school (Cordelia), tried to lure her in with the popular crowd, however, Buffy noticed how mean Cordelia was towards Willow and later on in the episode, Buffy made the first steps to speak to Willow and that was the start of their great friendship. Buffy didn’t care about the fact Willow was unpopular, geeky or dressed different to others; she befriended Willow and later Xander, who was equally as unpopular as Willow. Buffy could’ve joined the popular crowd, but she chose to look beyond popularity.
Lesson: This taught me to never judge a book by its cover and to always look at someone’s personality, instead of what they look like. It also taught me how friendships are about mutual respect and not judging each other. True friendships will always have good and bad times, but the main part of friendships, is being there for each other during both of the good and bad times and helping each other whenever needed.
Relationships
Before I watched Buffy, I always had it in my mind that relationships were like fairytales, they always have a happy ending and everything works out, however, this is not always the case. Buffy and her friends had a few relationships in the show and although at times, some of them were wonderful, not all of them were. Buffy’s first relationship was with Angel and although their relationship had many great times, it also had very bad times. In my eyes, other than the fact Angel was a vampire; this is a true take on a normal relationship. You will have your ups and downs, no relationship is perfect, and there will be arguments, disagreements and so on. All the relationships in Buffy showed arguments and disagreements. Buffy and Angel, Xander and Cordelia, Willow and Oz, Willow and Tara, Buffy and Riley, Xander and Anya, Buffy and Spike, Willow and Kennedy.
Lesson: The relationship aspect of the show, taught me that although relationships can be magical and exciting the majority of the time, they can also be challenging and hard too. There are no easy rides when it comes to love and unlike the typical Disney fairytale romance, BTVS taught me what a real relationship would consist of.
Sexuality
I always knew I was a lesbian, from a very young age. I used to sit there watching BTVS and totally crushing on Sarah Michelle Gellar! She was my proper first female crush. I remember back then, I was quite young and society was not as accepting of gay people. When I watched Buffy and it was revealed Willow was in a relationship with Tara, it opened up so many feelings for me. One of my favourite scenes in BTVS is when Willow tells Buffy she is dating Tara. Buffy has a mini freak-out for a split second, probably due to shock, but when she sits down and comforts Willow, she accepts her for who she is dating and for who she is. This gave me courage to find the strength to ease myself into ‘coming out’. I absolutely loved Willow and Tara’s relationship, they gelled so well together and they were my favourite couple in the whole show. BTVS tackled the sexuality story and they could not have possibly done it any better than they did. Watching the show back then and seeing how accepted Willow and Tara’s relationship was, it gave me so much hope that one day that could be me too.
Lesson: So my lesson here is basically, don’t hide who you were meant to be. Willow’s sexuality gave me the courage to gradually ease myself into admitting to other people that I was a lesbian. Seeing Willow and Tara’s relationship, made me want what they had, but I was never going to have that, if I stayed ‘in the closest’ and BTVS gave me the strength to take steps into coming out. I am now out and proud and I am in a very loving relationship! So thank you BTVS, for giving me so much to hope for and so much courage to get there.
Loss
Buffy the Vampire Slayer had many storylines, however, the one storyline which hit me so hard, was Joyce’s death. When Buffy found her mother dead on the sofa, I could not stop crying. Sarah Michelle Gellar’s acting in ‘The Body’ was just beyond amazing. This storyline touched our hearts. We have seen so much loss in the show, if you count all the people who died, but to actually see a character so significant as Buffy’s mum die, the shock factor was intense. The scene where Buffy has to tell Dawn as well, although we don’t hear the words, Dawn’s reaction said it all. It was an emotional rollercoaster of an episode and I still don’t think I’m over it today!
Lesson: Joyce’s death taught us that loss is real. Unfortunately, all of us will experience loss at some point in our lives. So it taught me how life is too short for things to be left unsaid. Always ensure your family; friends and loved one know how you feel, before it’s too late.
Responsibility
When Joyce died, Buffy had to act like the responsible adult, because her sister Dawn was younger. At first, Buffy pretty much offloaded her responsibility’s onto Giles and assumed he would deal with them, however, Giles knew if he stayed around, Buffy could never stand on her own two feet and step up to the mark of being the responsible adult. When Giles left to move back to England, it left Buffy in an awkward situation at first, however, over time Buffy gradually stepped up to the mark and became the woman Giles always knew she could be. Buffy had financial difficulty so she decided to get a job at The Doublemeat Palace. It’s not exactly the job Buffy saw herself doing, but she knew bills had to be paid and food had to be put in the cupboards, especially because she had Dawn to feed too. She got on with her job and made a more financially stable environment for Dawn and herself.
Lesson: This particular subject taught me how being an adult, means being responsible. When we turn into an adult, we have to go out, get a job, pay the bills and ensure food is kept in the cupboards. There are no easy rides, we cannot depend on our parents forever and we cannot ignore our responsibilities or offload them on to others. We as adults are responsible for ourselves and for the children we may one day have.
Addiction
BTVS tackled an addiction story, when Willow became addicted to magic. Willow’s addiction with magic escalated over a period of time and eventually became dangerous not only for Willow, but for other characters too. Willow lost control and started getting high on magic, which inevitably ended up with an accident, leaving Dawn injured. Willow asked for Buffy’s help and Buffy and her other friends, decided to take steps to help Willow beat her addiction. Willow practically did beat her addiction, however, Tara’s death made Willow once again lose control and became “Dark Willow”. As Dark Willow, she killed Warren and attempted to murder other people, including her close friends and not to mention, the entire world. Xander saved the world by tapping into the last bit of humanity Willow had left over and Willow eventually got the help she needed to combat the addiction once and for all.
Lesson: In real life, addiction is very real. Addiction can be many things, from alcohol, drugs, gambling and so on. Buffy taught me the dangers of addiction and where it could lead up to. If you’re addicted to something, all reasoning goes away and you just crave the thing you’re addicted to. This could lead you into a world of trouble and even put your life and other people’s lives at risk. BTVS taught me that no addiction is worth it. No addiction is worth hurting yourself or the other people around you. It taught me to say NO.
Vengeance
In BTVS we were introduced to the character Anyanka (Anya) in season three. She was a vengeance demon and had a job of gaining revenge on men who wronged women. She eventually lost her ‘job’, due to failing a mission which involved Cordelia’s wish. Giles broke her amulet and therefore, broke her vengeance spell. Later on in the show, Anya integrated with the other Scoobies and formed a relationship with Xander. Xander eventually left Anya at the altar and this paved the way for Anya to get back into the vengeance gig. Anya, as a vengeance demon, at first, barely did anything that bad, until one wish she granted, ended up killing a bunch of boys in a Fraternity house at UC Sunnydale. After a battle with Buffy, Anya asked for the wish to be taken back, therefore undoing the deaths of all the Frat boys. This came with a price and her fellow vengeance demon and long time friend Halfrek was sacrificed by D’Hoffryn.
Lesson: We are all going to be hurt at some point in life, but what BTVS taught me, is that no matter what, revenge is best left alone. If you go out to get revenge on someone who wronged you, it makes you no better than the person who hurt you and your actions could have huge consequences. BTVS taught me that it is better to let go of the pain and move on, instead of holding onto it and seeking revenge.
Don’t Run Away From Your Problems
In the season two finale, Buffy decided to run away after killing Angel, she then showed up living in Los Angeles in season three. She ran away, because she finally admitted who she was (the slayer) to her mum and her mum didn’t really handle it that well, however, I’m not surprised, it’s a lot to take in. During Buffy’s time in Los Angeles, she went by her middle name ‘Anne’. She had a job and was getting on with things; however, eventually Buffy got herself into a world of trouble and got stuck in some other dimension where human beings were slaves for demons and time in this other dimension worked differently. Buffy fought the demons and got out and then she decided to go back home to Sunnydale, and later on in ‘Dead Man’s Party’ a zombie attack and huge confrontation began. Buffy then had to try and get her friendship back on track, especially with her best friend Willow. Buffy ended up winning them back and they were all good again eventually.
Lesson: Never run away from your problems. BTVS taught me that if you run away from your problems, they may have a nasty habit of following you and landing you in a world of trouble. No matter what your problems are, take the time to discuss them with someone close to you, but always be patient as some people handle things differently. They may be shocked at first, but over time they will cope better. Do not run away at the first hurdle, give the person you’re opening up to some time to take things in and adjust accordingly.
Secrets
In BTVS season six episode ‘Once More with Feeling’, we saw the gang descend into a musical extravaganza, where all the secrets they were keeping, were brought out into the open by them singing. They didn’t have control over it, as it was a spell done by Xander, who thought they needed a little cheering up. All the characters who started singing, revealed certain things they never told another before. Buffy’s secret, only Spike knew of. She was in heaven after she died and her friends brought her back to life, they pulled her out of heaven. She blurting this out in an epic song and this led to her friends finally discovering the truth.
Lesson: BTVS taught me, especially in this episode, that keeping secrets might be a good idea, but some secrets have a habit of coming out eventually. This taught me that it is better to talk about things, instead of keeping things a secret. No matter what your secrets are, there is always someone around to listen and give you advice or just be there for you. We all have secrets in life, but when certain secrets come out, they can have huge consequences for you and the people involved. It is better to confront things head on and get it all out in the open, rather than keeping it a secret.
Sacrifice
In BTVS, we saw Buffy make huge sacrifices in order to save the world and even in everyday situations. Buffy sacrificed her college education, so she could be there for her mother, when her mother became very ill. She sacrificed Angel to save the world; she even sacrificed herself to save her sister and the entire world. Even Spike sacrificed himself to save the world in the very last episode, ‘Chosen’. There were a lot of sacrifices in the show throughout the whole seven seasons and although the majority of them involved saving the world, there were sacrifices made which were for other reasons too.
Lesson: BTVS taught me, how making sacrifices in life, is completely necessary at times, in order to either protect or provide in certain situations. For example, if you have children and you were buying yourself something on a monthly subscription, however, your shifts at work got cut and you could either only afford your subscription or pocket money for your child, you would sacrifice your subscription, so your child could have an allowance. That is just one example for a sacrifice in everyday life, but the point is, this show taught me how making certain sacrifices, means putting people before yourself. Even donating to charity, by helping a charity you are sacrificing a portion of your money to help other people. BTVS taught me that sacrificing for the greater good, is a very great thing indeed.
So there are the 10 life lesson's Buffy the Vampire Slayer taught me over seven years. I learned so much through the show and I would like to thank Joss, Sarah, Alyson, Nicholas, Anthony, David, James, Michelle, Emma, Amber and everybody else who starred in the show and all the people who played an important part behind the scenes!
Thank you for reading my post and I hope you enjoyed it!
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Take care.
- Becky